The other day I was approached on Facebook by an old teammate of mine from Community College. She had reached out to me for advice, she had been wanting to get back into running for quite some time now but was slowly losing motivation. She asked me something that I haven't even asked myself in years... she asks "Why do you run? Like what possibly motivates you?". I sat on my stability ball at work and was actually taken back as I read her Facebook message...why do I run? I continually asked myself. I guess I haven't really thought about it, it just seems habitual to me at this point. Everyday I run and everyday I choose to lace up my running sneakers once...maybe twice within that same day and take myself on what I consider to be a mental journey. Sure, people say i'm crazy I hear that roughly twice a day at my full time job. I guess when I think about it I can say that running has saved me, running has been the one thing to bring me to peace and true happiness. Sounds crazy but when I think about what running has done for me I get tears in my eyes because...well it's a major part of my life and always will be. I began running at a young age, started my Elementary School's first ever running club with my gym teacher (who was a competitive triathlete at the time) and I was instantly hooked. I can remember attending the "after school program" where students with parents who worked late would hangout with staff and other children in the library, and one by one parents came to pick them up. My gym teacher Theresa would stay after with me and bring me to the bus circle right outside of the library and tell me run, just run. It didn't matter what pace, it didn't matter for how long, but she told me to let free and just go. So I would, I ran that bus circle everyday even in the worst weather because I was on a high...literally runners high. She used to reward me with little trophies and medals every time I hit a higher mileage, and she then trained me for my first ever race, our Elementary School's Turkey Trot. I won my first ever race in 4th grade, and let me just tell you winning a race at such a young age and showing your "coach" that the training has paid off is THE best feeling on the planet. Ever since that day i've been hooked....I can honestly say that if I wasn't a runner I have no clue what i'd be doing in my free time. When I run I can let go of everything, my mind gets to wander into this new realm. Funny enough I actually practice meditating when I run alone, I can bring myself to peace and just appreciate the better things in life. Running has taught me how to be strong and independent, especially if a training partner of mine drops out in the middle of a race and it's then up to me to run my race and [hopefully] PR. It's surely kept me out of trouble, and it keeps me fit physically and mentally as spoken about previously. The sport has introduced me to a whole new clan of folks who can appreciate the same little things that I do -- runners honestly are the best kind of friends to have and I couldn't be more blessed that i've met the people that I have through running. The biggest takeaway that i've received from running is that nothing is ever given to you... everything you want to achieve or receive in life must be earned through hard work and long training days. This not only applies to running but life as well, I wouldn't be where I am in my career today at such a young age if I had never learned how to work hard for what I want; nothing is ever just handed to me... I earn it. So why do I run? If I had to give one reason i'd have the longest run-on sentence that any English department has ever seen. As bad as this may sound.. I run because I NEED to. I need that time in the day to clear my head of everyday stressors and I need to mediate as well as find myself once again. I run because I find true happiness when I do as much as that may not make sense... I am at my happiest when I run or even when I race regardless if the race goes as planned or not. I get on that high and I feel like I am on top of the world; I feel it all throughout my body. This sport has literally saved my life and that's no joke. I used to wish I wasn't living and breathing on this planet. I used to pray to the lord to take me away, far away from where I was and not allow for any return. I can remember sitting on the floor next to my bed in my bedroom just crying non stop, criticizing my body, cursing to myself and throwing the worst insults at my reflection in the mirror. I soon learned that starving yourself and running do not mix very well, you can't be a part of both of those worlds. You're either a slowly dying skeleton or you're a powerful, competitive, athlete. I chose to be this athlete, I chose what I loved over what I desired, I couldn't hide from my love for running and i'm forever thankful for that. Okay I literally have tears in my eyes as I type this blog post, but I cannot even imagine what would have happened to me if I chose to just continue down the path that I was walking on. I feel for any individual battling an eating disorder -- it's brutal and it means nothing to us when someone says to just cut it out or to just eat ... outsiders do not understand. However as I said I chose to continue this athletic lifestyle and i'm not joking when I tell people I will be running until the day I die, I literally will. I've never fallen in love like the way I have with running. Real love to me is found through my running and even through the darkest times of my life i've been able to pick myself back up to fall in love all over again. There's just something about this sport that i'll never be able to replace with anything else. It'll knock me down when I need to hit rock bottom, it'll pick me back up, it'll keep me safe, it'll take me to new places.... even new worlds, and most importantly it'll continue to help me grow and develop as a strong individual. I feel powerful when I run and no one can ever take that away from me... so ask yourself sometime, why do you run? Until next time.... Stay Green, Amanda
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LifestyleWhat does Amanda do outside of her crazy, insane exercise obsessed life..? I know you're all dying to know. Check out my previous posts!
March 2018
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